Incivility in an Uncivil Society

Special Tribute to 14-Year-old Hayden Jack.

I was in my hometown of Ibadan, Nigeria, when I read of the passing of that beautiful young soul, Hayden Jack, at the age of 14. From all accounts I heard, she never spoke a word, yet her gracious demeanor, unparalleled patience, and endurance spoke volumes. I am not one given easily to emotions, but young Hayden spoke to the depth of my being. Even though I never met her, she taught me something about humility and patience through tribulations. I had carefully looked at her pictures as posted online and also prayerfully monitored her progress as posted by her family. As the saying goes in some Christian circles: “We love her, but God loves her more.” I doff my hat for Jennene and Adam Jack for their caring and compassionate parenting throughout all these years that try the soul. My thoughts and prayers are with you as the Good Lord consoles and comforts you at this time. Hayden reminded me of the scripture that says: “Teach us to number our days that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.” Rest in the peace of the Lord, Hayden.

Incivility in an Uncivil Society

I have traveled a lot to many countries using diverse airlines; however, this is the first time I have flown by Ethiopian Airlines. As an African, I have always been fascinated by the country of Ethiopia, one of the two African countries that supposedly escaped the clutches of colonialism. Furthermore, Ethiopia defeated Italy at the Battle of Adwa in 1896, a feat that did not escape the lessons of history. This was the first Italo-Ethiopian war. It reverberated far and wide to African Americans who saw a small African country standing up to the West. It became a symbol of pride and resistance to white colonial powers, whether the form of colonialism is internal or external. Professor Cornel West, an African American, who was once married to an Ethiopian woman, would assert in his book, Keeping Faith, that though he felt existentially homeless in the United States, Ethiopia felt like his motherland. Cornel West was a profound admirer of W.E.B. Du Bois, that he even dressed like him. Ethiopian history, in biblical parlance, is also remarkably unique, with critical references to Queen of Sheba and the Ethiopian eunuch forming parts of the biblical canon. The name Sheba was everywhere I looked, even in online advertisements.
Additionally, the former king of Ethiopia, Emperor Haile Selassie, became another figure of deliverance, not just in the Americas but also in the Caribbean, with his name Rasta forming part of the Rastafarian communities in Jamaica and other countries around the world.

Addis Ababa Airport: A Grandeur Project

We boarded the Ethiopian Airlines in Newark to Addis Ababa. As we landed at the Bole International airport, I began to see the grandeur of architectural works in this ancient city. As we exited the plane to Immigration and Customs, the professionalism and personability of the airport employees were evident: polite, articulate, and friendly. Even with the volume of traffic during the holiday, the services were impressive. I thought if I traveled on Christmas Day, there would be fewer people to deal with at the airport, but I was remarkably wrong. I had never seen such a sea of humans at the airport. I have traveled through Heathrow Airport in London several times, but in my humble opinion, Addis Ababa airport beats it hands down without any doubt at all. Even though we had to refuel in Rome on the return flight, I will not mind using the Ethiopian Airlines in my future flights to the continent.

Incivility Inside the Plane Episode 1

I was very impressed with the service and the composure of the Ethiopian air hostesses, in politeness, personality, and professionalism. Their contagious smiles did arrest my attention. Then not late in the flight, a passenger went into the toilet and stayed there for about twenty minutes. Concerned about his safety or whether this person was having a medical condition, I summoned one of the hostesses to have a well-check. No response. Another ten minutes elapsed and she politely knocked on the toilet door again, only for the gentleman to knock back violently that he is there and in charge. Now there was a long line of other passengers waiting to use the toilet. I was one of them. He took his time and waited another five minutes to let us know that he would come out whenever he decides it was time. When he finally came out I shook my head and wondered how inconsiderate and fundamentally thoughtless one could be to disregard all rules of civility, empathy, and understanding and mindfulness of others even when they were concerned and wondering about your condition while in the toilet. He left nonchalantly and dared anyone to challenge his authority for using the toilet for over half an hour. Whatever was the problem with him or whatever he was doing there remains only a matter of conjecture.

Incivility Inside the Plane Episode 2

On my return trip back to the States, I boarded the Ethiopian airline again from Lagos to Addis Ababa. On my second landing at Addis Ababa, I was stunned again to see the airport, its structure, and grandeur. Inside the plane, the lady who sat in front of a gentleman deliberately set her seat backward to encroach on his space. When the man tried to tell the lady very politely to adjust her seat so he could also seat conveniently to eat and be free to move his legs, the lady retorted: “It is your problem that your stomach is too big. That was why you could not sit properly. Besides, you should not be using a laptop.” The man was actually not using a laptop but a small 11-inch iPad. Even some passengers found her response and abusive insult very rude and unbecoming. One passenger said you should not be talking to him like that, to which the lady said, “Mind your own business.” I have heard about rage in the air but never witnessed anything like this.
Then came the Ethiopian hostess, who gently and nicely spoke to the woman to calm down and diffuse the tension. She would not bulge but continued in the tirade. The hostess finally told the gentleman to be patient since we only had a short time to land in Addis Ababa. She went on to adjust his seat backward so there could be enough space for him to move freely and do whatever he wanted to do on his iPad.

Incivility on National Level

While I was in Nigeria, I stumbled into the news about an incident in the ceremonial swearing-in of Senator Deb Fischer for her third term. Her husband, Bruce Fischer, adamantly refused to shake hands with Vice President Kamala Harris. This happened after VP Harris extended her hand to congratulate him following the oath. Bruce Fischer, holding a Bible in one hand and a cane in the other, avoided eye contact, muttered “thank you,” handed the Bible to his wife. He thereafter placed his free hand in his pocket instead of reciprocating the handshake from the Vice President.
In the litany of rudeness and disrespect, it is difficult to know where to place this thoughtless and classless behavior. What lessons are we sending to young people when grown-ups behave like this? That adults can start the new year with a behavior so reprehensible that a two-year-old will be scolded for doing so is simply mind-boggling.
I have a dream that one day, this nation will let civility and decency reign not only in Washington but also in every sphere of civil society: in the air, on land, and at sea.
Happy New Year.